Christmas Day, 2018, marked exactly eighteen months since I came home to find that my precious 22-year old grandson Garrett had accidentally shot himself and lay dead in my basement. It was the most horrific day of my life. Nothing can fully explain the horror and agony of that tragic experience.

For months, thoughts of his lying there alone on the floor haunted me. I could not bear to go into the room. For a year I would awaken often to thoughts of his passing. The basement became an emotional tomb. Entering it was depressing—like going to a cemetery on the day of a funeral.

Already in great need of remodeling, the basement area became even dirtier and grimier since no one had the heart or the energy to clean it up. Garrett’s shoes still lay on the hearth where he left them. His clothes were still strewn around. The entire basement was frozen in a state of despair.

Finally, over a year after the tragedy, my eldest son, Jeff, said, “Mom, it’s time to do something about the basement. It’s not healthy emotionally. We as a family need to move on.”

I knew he was right. It was time. I had been praying for months about what the Lord wanted me to do about the space. “How can we turn this place into a welcoming refuge instead of a mausoleum?” I asked. We needed a physical—and more importantly spiritual and emotional—make over.

Everyone finally reluctantly agreed, and the months of remodeling began. Filthy carpets had to be ripped up. Ceilings patched and painted. Worn out furniture was hauled to the dump. Loads of old items that basements accumulate were removed as well.

We searched for ways to draw closer to God and thereby bring peace and acceptance to our family as we worked. We prayed together often; and when the carpets were removed, we all wrote favorite Bible verses all over the floor before installing new floor covering. What a comfort! It was cathartic. Standing on God’s Word became a physical reality!

The place became more homey and inviting. Even the smell improved—no more damp, moldy stench of old carpet.

Yet the memories of death persisted. Even though the place was physically more inviting, the area was still cold to me.

It was Christmas Eve, 2018, now 18 months after Garrett’s death. We had made many physical changes. We had prayed and prayed for peace. Yet there were still disturbing memories that filled my thoughts.

Then the Lord gave me a most wondrous Christmas present! As I sat doing my Bible study, I saw clearly a new vision. Though my grandson was lying on that cold floor, he was not alone as I had always imagined. Instead, the room was filled with angels. Two men were also there—Garrett’s  Papa Gerry, my deceased husband, and his Papa Sam, his grandfather on his mother’s side. The room became not a cemetery but a launching pad for heaven! In my mind, it miraculously became the beautiful refuge I had wanted it to be!

As I sat in awe, I remembered that the place even had a name!  All the way back in 2007 on an early morning walk, the Lord had impressed on me that we needed to use our home as a refuge—a place of warmth and hospitality. He had even given me the name—The King’s Haven—all those years before. I had not understood fully what the Lord wanted me to do so I had done nothing with that name, but now it had become a reality!

My basement—my house—belongs to the Lord. It is to be a haven of peace and rest. No longer do I enter the basement and see where Garrett died as a dreadful place. Even in its disrepair, it was indeed a place of beauty as he was escorted into heaven by angels and his grandfathers! Garrett had literally left my house and moved into his heavenly home in the twinkling of an eye. One day I will see him. What a blessing! My mind and my thoughts had been transformed in a matter of moments. I was reminded of three of my favorite verses:

Romans 12:2

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

 2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

1 Corinthians 2:9

That is what the Scriptures mean when they say, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.”

As our family gathered this year for our Christmas celebration, I shared with them my hopes for my home and its new name. Through tears of joy, we prayerfully dedicated The King’s Haven to the glory of God as we also remembered Garrett and Papa Gerry.

Welcome to The King’s Haven!

Happy New Year!

What about you? Has the Lord ever changed your thinking and thereby helped you deal with pain and loss? If so, I’d love to hear about it!

P.S.
Today is Garrett’s birthday. He is celebrating his birthday in heaven as we remember him here. Happy birthday, dear Garrett! We love you!

Thanks to all of you who read the posts each week and share them. You are a blessing to me!