It has been almost two months since my last blog post. Much has happened since that last entry. Praise God, I can finally think clearly and write again!

On August 1, 2018, I was busy sweeping my kitchen when I turned and felt a sting—almost like a little pop–in my lower back. My immediate prayer, “Ooh, Lord, that was not good! I pray I don’t have a big problem arise out of that!”

Though I’m positive He heard, and I’m positive He answered—I’m also positive it was just not the way I wanted! In fact, little did I know what a nightmare lay ahead!

We were scheduled to fly to Breckenridge, Colorado, on August 4 for our annual family vacation. Rather than see a doctor before we left, I unwisely climbed aboard the plane and took off. A big mistake! By day, I tried to have fun with the family as I put on a happy face. By night, I wallowed in pain, sleeping little, arising in the middle of the night for Aleve, Tylenol, and ice packs. I dug into the Word and spent time crying out to God, but relief did not come.

As the days progressed, my seemingly minor injury turned into a bigger and bigger problem. After a few days, the pain steadily increased in my left hip and made its way into my left leg down to my knee. I began to hobble and found it difficult to stand up straight.

Even before I left Breckenridge headed for home, I called for an appointment with my general practitioner as soon as possible upon my return. My usual doctor was not available, and I saw the first person available—a second mistake. Her diagnosis? Using X-rays taken in 2014, she concluded I had degeneration in my lower spine. Her prescription? Take prednisone for inflammation, hydrocodone to help me sleep, and go to the chiropractor and the physical therapist. After dutifully following her instructions, I was worse. The pain had crept down my leg to my calf.

On August 23 I went back to my GP and saw my usual nurse practitioner who wisely took a new X-ray and diagnosed me with a bulging disk. Her prescription? Muscle relaxers, a Kenalog injection, Tramadol for pain, and more physical therapy. Over the next few days, I became worse. The pain was now into my heel. I could hardly walk and was now stooped over like the Hunchback of Notre Dame.

Because of my ministry to women in addiction to pain killers, I did not want to take narcotics. Over-the-counter medications, however, did little to relieve the spasms. The pain was so severe I was willing to take almost anything prescribed for relief.

I filled my journals with scripture and prayer, but I could no longer think of anything but my discomfort. I could no longer write my blog. I was too self-absorbed with my situation. I learned an important lesson: chronic pain and the related meds are truly debilitating.

Like Job and his friends, I cried out, “Why?” I did repeated self-examinations for unconfessed sin. I made promises to God that I am now trying to keep. I concluded if this was the way the rest of my life would be, I was ready to go “home” if the Lord would just call me! He didn’t.

On September 5, I returned to my GP. The pain had now reached my foot. She sent me immediately for an MRI and arranged an appointment with a neurosurgeon.

On September 13, I met with a neurosurgeon who explained three options: a spinal injection, a microdiscectomy, or a fusion of the lower vertebrae. I initially chose the injection, but the pain was becoming so unbearable, that on September 18 I called the neurosurgeon’s office and told them I wanted to proceed with the microdiscectomy as soon as possible—that my pain level was too great and my walking too compromised to wait.

The scheduler said she could get me in for surgery on September 21 if she could get insurance authorization. She called back and said that surgery authorization could not be completed for 15 business days—three weeks!

I immediately began calling United Health Care, my insurance carrier, to see what could be done to expedite the process.

On Wednesday, September 20, I got a call from an insurance representative confirming what the scheduler had said: It would still be 15 business days—3 weeks–before they could get authorization.

I was devastated. My life had become a hell of pain and pills—none of which could end the cycle. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t focus. I could not stand up straight. I was becoming more and more stooped. My left foot did not want to fully support me.

My children watched all of this, and on September 21, my daughter-in-law Heather, who is a health professional, and my son Joe concluded that something had to be done. They took me to the emergency room. After spending the night waiting to see a doctor, the physician on call did an examination and called in Dr. Branch—the surgeon originally scheduled to do the surgery—who operated three hours later. The Lord used the skilled hands of a surgeon to rescue me!

What a blessing! The Lord carried me through the most horrific physical pain I have ever encountered! Today, I am pain free and walking better than I have in months! I am also free of all pain medication—a huge blessing as well!

My first doctor failed me, my insurance carrier initially failed me, but the Lord never failed me! Though I sometimes wondered where He was and why I was suffering, I was reminded of 2 Corinthians 4:8-10:

“We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair . . . We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.” (2 Corinthians 4:8-10)

Paul also penned these encouraging words that we can draw on in times of great distress, “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39 NLT)

Praise God! I am healed and pain free! Though there were times when I was discouraged and distressed, I can rejoice in my Savior! With Job I can say, “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him.” (Job 13:14 NKJV)

What about you? Are you struggling today with a debilitating illness? Have you seen and felt the Lord’s hand of mercy even though you sometimes can’t see past the pain? I pray you hang in there! He is faithful! With Jeremiah, the weeping prophet, I have found:

“The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!” (Lamentations 3:22-24 NLT)

Care to share your experiences? I would love to hear from you!