The helium-filled balloons we were carrying down to our dock for release were shriveling—helium molecules become more compact and inactive when exposed to cold.  The temperature was below freezing, the wind was blowing hard, and the lake was icing over as well.  Yet our family, wrapped in warm coats, gloves, and scarves, had made our way carefully to one of my grandson Garrett’s favorite places to send messages of love flying into the air.  It was January 4—his 23^rd birthday.  He had died tragically six months earlier on June 25, 2017.  This was his first birthday in heaven, and we were intent on celebrating it despite the weather.

In an odd way, it seemed appropriate.  Garrett loved the cold.  We often spent a January weekend in the mountains so that he and his Uncle Joe could ski while the rest of us snow tubed.

As we huddled on the dock, balloons gripped in gloved hands, I couldn’t wait to tell the assembled mourners of my encounter with the Still Small Voice that morning.

You see, when I had sat down in the early morning hours to meditate and read the Word, I had prayed, “Oh, Lord, send us words of comfort.  Carry us through this day.  Let us experience your presence in miraculous ways.”  And He had answered—in amazing ways—and I was excited to share with them what He had said!

My first devotional book I read from that morning, I explained, was Sarah Young’s Jesus Calling, and the related scripture was in Isaiah 40.  What a blessing!  Isaiah 40:31 is so beloved to me that it is engraved on my husband’s tombstone.

Today’s focal passage was on an earlier verse in the chapter:

“He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.”  (Isaiah 40:11 NIV)

For the past six months the Good Shepherd has indeed carried us—his sheep–when we felt like fainting.   He had comforted us and sustained us in numerous ways.

With as much excitement as I could muster in the frigid air, I shared with my near-frozen listeners that the second passage I had read from Jesus Calling was Psalm 139:

“I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave, you are there.
If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.” (Psalm 139:7-10 NLT)

What words of comfort!  The Lord was here with us in this cold, frigid place and in heaven with Garrett simultaneously!

Psalm 139 continues:

“You saw me before I was born.
    Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!  (Psalm 139:16-17 NLT)

Garrett’s days—and our own—are in His hands!  We can rest in the assurance that He is in control, He loves us, and He is with us here in this world and for eternity!  We don’t have to understand everything.  We just need to trust Him.

Next, I explained that the second devotional book I read from was Open Windows, and that, to my surprise, the focal passage–Isaiah 40:1-11—was the same one I had read in Jesus Calling.  I truly believe the Lord is really trying to get my attention when I read the same passage from two different devotional books in succession—exactly what had happened today!

Finally, I shared that the third devotional book for the day was Sarah Young’s Jesus Always.  Two scripture passages from it touched my soul:

“Shout joyful praises to God, all the earth!
²     Sing about the glory of his name!
Tell the world how glorious he is.
Say to God, “How awesome are your deeds!” Psalm 66:1-3

¹⁰ “. . . Go and celebrate with a feast of rich foods and sweet drinks, and share gifts of food with people who have nothing prepared. This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!” (Nehemiah 8:10)

My conclusions from my reading:  Our God is awesome!  His deeds are awesome!  He amazes us every day with his miracles!  He meets us where we are—when we are happy and when we are sad.  He fills us with joy—even when are hearts are breaking!  And yes, he wants us to celebrate!  He wants us to enjoy the good gifts He has given us.  He does not want us to be sad but to experience His joy—truly experience it!

With a mixture of sadness and joy, we let go of the balloons.  In the frigid air, a few took off high into the sky.  Others, though, were tempted to splash belly first into the water but gradually gained momentum and flew off as well.  One seemed to get caught in the trees across the cove from us.  We watched it with anticipation.  Finally, it freed itself from the branches and flew away as well.

Like those balloons, we as a family are still struggling to fly; but in time, we are going to be o.k.—just fine!  We might be stuck for a moment, but in time the wind—the Holy Spirit—will free us and we will take off, too!

As the birthday party moved from the dock to one of Garrett’s favorite Mexican restaurant, our spirits lifted as we shared good food, humorous stories, and precious memories.  We said good night and headed home.

I whispered a silent prayer of thanksgiving as I opened the front door into the house Garrett and I had shared.  The Lord had carried our family through Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Garrett’s birthday.  We had survived—and the Lord was healing us moment by moment.  Though some days, we may have trouble flying and sometimes we feel like splashing belly first into the abyss, we are beginning to gain momentum.  Thank you, Jesus.

“What joy for those whose strength comes from the Lord,
who have set their minds on a pilgrimage . . .
When they walk through the Valley of Weeping,
it will become a place of refreshing springs.
The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings.”  (Psalm 84:5-6NLT)

 “But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.”  Isaiah 40:31 (NLT)

The Spirit is always at work!  He’s revving our engines, showing us His flight path, and preparing us for takeoff!

What about you?  Do you have an account of a time when the Spirit carried you through times of overwhelming grief you’d like to share?  I’d love to hear from you!